


Clan of Two

by Inrainbowz



Series: Brother To You [4]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Birthday, Cats, Childhood, Dealing with complicated feelings, Developing Friendships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Kid Uchiha Sasuke, Kid Uzumaki Naruto, Konoha's top-notch child services, Minor Injuries, these kids need therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2020-03-01 02:52:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18791515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inrainbowz/pseuds/Inrainbowz
Summary: October has just begun, and Naruto is acting weird.(Part 4 of that AU where Naruto and Sasuke adopt each other during the Academy days)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go once more! I'm glad to get into this part, it's gonna be a lot of feels but things will be fine eventually. Chapters will stay quite short, probably? I don't know. Hope you'll enjoy!

There was a knock on the door.

It was enough to set Sasuke on edge even before opening it. There were very few people to knock on their door, especially unannounced. They weren’t expecting any visitor, and Naruto was out, so Sasuke would have to greet and try to send away whoever it was on his own.

He debated briefly just ignoring it, but the knock came again, and with a heavy sigh, he went to open the door and see who it was.

He vaguely registered there was an adult there, but he never got to look up to see who it was. His eyes were focused on Naruto.

Naruto bleeding from a wound somewhere on his head. Blood pouring all over his face. Splattered on his clothes and skin, a shocking red on the white of his shirt.

Sasuke’s first instinct was to lash out on whoever was next to him, to attack. But he found himself paralyzed. He couldn’t move, couldn’t think.

He saw blood. Blood on the floor, blood cutting a body in half, splashed on the walls, the clothes, everywhere. The red, the smell, the wetness under his fingers, under his foot as he slipped on it. Blood, death, despair.

Two hands gripped his head firmly. He was on the floor now somehow. He couldn’t hear anything, and he couldn’t breathe either.

“I’m okay, Sasuke! I’m okay, it’s nothing!”

It was Naruto talking. Naruto pressing his bloody forehead on Sasuke’s, and he didn’t sound hurt and could move just fine, so he was okay. He was okay.

“I’m okay, look, it’s nothing, it’s fine.”

He was okay.

Sasuke came back to himself as soon as he had left, feeling dizzy and weak as he tried to get back on his feet, on high alert now for whatever had caused this. They turned in the same movement toward the person still standing on the doorstep.

“I told you to let me clean up before coming back!” Naruto accused, upset.

“Is it my fault now? I told you you needed medical attention, and you refused to go to the hospital.”

“And _I_ told _you_ that I was fine! It’s gone already!”

He shook his arm – dirty with dry blood too – for emphasize. There was no wound in sight.

Sasuke wasn’t worried about that. Naruto’s insane healing speed was a fact of life at this point, something Sasuke had just accepted as a truth he couldn’t explain but couldn’t deny either. At least it meant he didn’t have to worry that much when Naruto climbed the side of their building or fell off a tree.

He focused his attention back on the stranger. Except he wasn’t a stranger, not really. Sasuke had seen him before, if only from a distance. Hanging out with Itachi in his Anbu uniform.

It did nothing to make him sympathetic to the boy.

“What happened?” he demanded.

Hatake Kakashi only had one eye to show for his face, which he dropped on Sasuke. He didn’t seem particularly concerned with the whole situation.

“Your little friend here fell from a roof trying to rescue a cat. Nasty fall. He didn’t want to get treated so I thought I would at least see that he got home safely.” He paused, maybe waiting for a reaction or just gathering his thoughts. “It’s good to see you, Sasuke. It’s been a while. Are you alright?”

They had been introduced once, and had seen each other maybe twice after that. Itachi was secretive of anything he did outside of the clan, and Sasuke didn’t really care either way. It was hard enough to interact with his brother that he didn’t bother to care about his friends too.

None of them had ever approached Sasuke after all was said and done. So they couldn’t have been such good friends after all.

“Fine. Thank you for bringing him back,” he said curtly, hating the scrutiny of that man, hating that he had just seen him lose it like this. He was getting better at handling this kind of panics, especially if Naruto was here to see him through it, and he didn’t want others to know. He didn’t want adults to know, and to force him to go talk to a doctor or something, force him to talk when they wouldn’t listen, when they couldn’t understand. When they didn’t really care.

Sasuke ushered Naruto inside, subtly assessing his injuries without looking away from the man more than a few seconds. He had to deal with him before focusing back on his friend.

Naruto resisted though. He turned back toward the man and held out his hands, confronting him head-on.

“Give it back.”

“Are you sure? I can drop it at the shelter if…”

“Give it back.”

Kakashi sighed but relented with a shrug and fetched from his weapon pouch… the smallest cat Sasuke had ever seen in his life.

He put it delicately into Naruto’s waiting hands who cradled the thing against his chest without looking away from Kakashi’s single, smiling eye. Naruto wasn’t smiling at all.

“Well, that’s all for me I guess. Get some rest – fast healing or not, you hit your head rather hard. Peace out kids.”

The man disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving them a bit dumbstruck on their doorstep.

Naruto was the first to recover and go back into the apartment, his precious bundle in hand. The cat wasn’t making any sound or moving, too weak maybe. Naruto set it down on the table and went to rubble through the cupboards, in search of something for the cat to eat maybe.

“Cats don’t actually drink milk,” Sasuke chipped in. Naruto stopped mid-gesture, milk carton in hand, and looked at Sasuke as if he’d forgotten he was even here until now. Sasuke took out some chopped pork from the fridge to feed it to the small cat who started to munch on it happily, content, for now, to stay put and take what was offered.

“Are you okay?” Naruto asked without looking at Sasuke, eyes fixed on the little ball of fur. “I’m sorry. I told him I would be fine.”

“It’s… It’s okay. I was just surprised.”

He preferred to tell himself that this kind of things wouldn’t happen in a real fight, if their lives were really at risk. That it would disappear with time. That it wasn't a problem.

“What about you?”

“You know I’m always fine. It’s all healed up, look.”

He agitated his arm absentmindedly, as if seeing dry blood coming from nowhere counted as reassurance.

“It’s not a reason not to be careful. It still hurts, doesn’t it?”

Naruto didn’t answer. They had had this argument before – Naruto wasn’t cautious enough to Sasuke’s taste, and he was too dismissive of his injuries. Sasuke didn’t want to antagonize him now though, and focused back on the cat too, for lack of a better option.

“What are we gonna do with it?”

“Keep it.”

Sasuke frowned. He had an idea that was the answer he would get, but they weren’t supposed to just impose that kind of things.

“I’m not sure we…”

“Let’s keep it Sasuke. Please.”

Their eyes met, and here it was again.

Naruto had been acting oddly, lately. He was even more reckless than usual, getting injured and brushing it off as if it was nothing. They had had to consult with Lee over the best way to remove blood stains from clothes, something Sasuke was quickly becoming an expert at. Naruto was quiet and withdrawn, lashed out for no reason, and kept to himself more than Sasuke had ever seen him do.

And he refused to talk. He refused to even acknowledge that anything was wrong. He just looked at Sasuke like he was right now – pleading, a little lost, distressed, and Sasuke didn’t know what made him feel that way, and it was driving him crazy.

“We can’t keep it locked in here.”

“He can go out through the balcony. I see cats walking the roofs all the time.”

“We don’t even know where it comes from. It could be sick or…”

“I’ll take it to Hana, she’ll have a look. We can’t just abandon it to its fate. I’ve been seeing it around a lot. I’m sure it doesn’t have any home to go to. It’s all on his own. We can’t just leave it.”

Naruto wasn’t fine, and Sasuke had no idea what he could do to help, but that was a start. He was very fond of cats, and his parents had never wanted one at home, but he was the one who made that kind of decisions now.

“Fine,” he agreed. He hoped it would at least draw a smile on Naruto’s face, but he merely nodded in gratitude before focusing back on the tiny cat. His face still looked bitter and sad, and still had blood on it.

Sasuke was at a complete loss.

.

“What’s going on with Naruto?”

Sasuke sighed, irritated. Sakura pouted.

“What? I’m just asking…”

“Sorry, it’s just… you’re like, the third one to ask me that this week. And the answer is the same. I don’t know.”

At least he knew that it wasn’t in his head. Both Shikamaru and Ino, and then even Kiba had come to him worrying about Naruto’s unusual quietness and moodiness. He was distant and sullen, snapping at others unprompted, and stubbornly insisting he was fine and nothing was wrong at every turn.

He didn’t want to hang out outside, going straight home after school. No trip to the Inuzuka estate, to the flower shop, or to go bother Shikamaru in his favorite napping spots. He had even managed to wriggle his way out of grocery shopping several times.

And now to top it all, he had talked back at Iruka during class, something that hadn't happened in months. Not in a playful way either, but with bite, anger, as Iruka berated him for not listening to a word of the lesson. Sasuke couldn’t get his words out of his head.

_“What use is there for me to learn anything anyway.”_

Claims that school was useless and a waste of time weren’t anything unusual – all kids subscribed to it at one point or another. But that wasn’t it. Naruto had clearly said “what use is there _for me_ ”. As if it was a real waste on him, more than the others. He was doing okay in class now, and he even enjoyed going to the Academy sometimes, so it didn’t make sense.

None of it made sense.

“You didn’t have a fight?” Sakura asked as they took the way back home – Naruto had disappeared right after class again, and Sakura’s house wasn’t far from theirs.

“No,” Sasuke answered firmly, even if he was starting to seriously doubt that. He wasn’t the best to interpret social interactions, especially with Naruto when he had decided he was going to hide every and all emotions under false bravado. Maybe Sasuke had said something, or done something? But for it to put Naruto in that state, it had to be big enough that he would remember it. He hoped.

“Maybe he had a fight with someone else.”

“If so, they don’t want to admit to it.”

Sasuke had maybe scared their friends a bit by interrogating them one by one, looking for a culprit. Nothing had come up though.

Sakura laid a hand on his shoulder, making him jump. They were already in front of her house – he hadn’t noticed.

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” she said, encouraging. He thanked her with a nod, although he wasn’t convinced. He was beginning to be really worried.

And finding Naruto sitting knees to his chest on the kitchen floor when he arrived home did nothing to reassure him.

“Naruto?” he called, rushing to his side. “What happened, are you alright?”

“He hates me.”

Sasuke followed the blonde’s gaze to the bundle of fur that was making a poor job at hiding behind a table foot. They had brought the cat to Kiba’s sister as agreed – it was a male, barely old enough to be on his own without its mother, but she had given her green light for them to keep him.

They had yet to agree on a name though.

“Why do you say that?” Sasuke asked, approaching more carefully, not sure which between Naruto and the cat he was most likely to spook first.

“He won’t let me approach him. He hisses when I try. He won’t even eat when I’m around.”

Sasuke crouched down to get on the cat’s level and catch his attention, so that he wouldn’t surprise him when he went to retrieve him from his hiding spot. The cat came willingly enough. Naruto’s face fell.

“I’m good with cats,” Sasuke tried to justify. It was the truth. Cats loved him for some reasons – it happened often that a cat or several would follow him at random when he walked down the streets. He could easily approach even the wildest ones.

Naruto seemed to take it as confirmation though, that _he_ was the problem here.

“Take care of him then,” he said, and Sasuke thought he would sound bitter or jealous, but it was only sorrow he could hear in his voice, deep and inconsolable. He looked so distressed, so upset, Sasuke felt compelled to comfort him, but he didn’t know from what.

Naruto disappeared in his room before Sasuke could come up with anything to say.

.

The next day, Naruto didn’t even show up at school.

It wasn’t unusual for them to make it to class at different times – Sasuke liked to get in early and Naruto often got distracted on the way. But this time, he didn’t come at all. Sasuke had to fight down the urge to skip too and go investigate, but the rules stated that they were both “entitled to their decisions”, a nice sounding sentence Sasuke had found in a book and that they weren’t entirely sure of the meaning, but they got the gist of it. Naruto wasn’t sick, since he never was, so he was absent on purpose, and it was his right.

Besides, Iruka didn’t look too surprised by that for some reasons. He didn’t even comment on it, when he noticed the empty seat by Sasuke’s side. He just shook his head and finished calling rolls as if nothing was amiss.

Maybe he knew what was up with Naruto.

Sasuke hadn’t gone to him yet for advice, because he wanted to solve that one on his own. Iruka wouldn’t always be there to take care of their problems for them, and Naruto always seemed so attuned to Sasuke’s mood and emotions, always knew what was going on and what to do, Sasuke wanted to do the same for once. Wanted to understand without outside cues.

"Before we get into today's topic, there are a few things we need to discuss," Iruka said as he leaned against his desk. He crossed his arms on his chest and was lost in thought for a second, silence briefly filling the classroom as they waited in awkward tension for him to come back to himself.

Come to think of it, he hadn’t been quite at the top of his form lately either.

“As you may remember, we won’t have class on Thursday and Friday. I won’t give you any homework for next week either.”

A murmur ran through the class, but it wasn’t of excitement as one would have thought for such news. Sasuke tried to remember why that was.

“I’ll see you all at the memorial ceremony on Friday.”

Oh. Right. It was that time of the year.

He had completely forgotten about it. Sasuke wasn’t good with dates and didn’t pay much attention to what day it was usually, but come to think of it, it was true that October had just begun. That explained why everything felt so much solemn and somber around them these days, the air heavy with gloom and unspoken grief.

It was time for the anniversary of the Kyuubi’s attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the theme of this part ^^ Come say hi on [tumblr](http://inrainprose.tumblr.com)! See ya.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hundredths of death. One birth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was inspired and put that chapter together in the last few days. It's for you people. This chapter is a direct product of [that comic that started it all](https://inrainprose.tumblr.com/post/179156639934/inraindrawz-happy-birthday-to-the-best-boy#notes). I made some modifications but you get the idea.

It was a small, insignificant matter, in the grand scheme of things, but it still frustrated Sasuke to no end. He had a feeling that with all the issues he already had to deal with, he should have been spared from those minor inconveniences somehow. And yet.

Why couldn't one little thing be easy in life? It wasn't fair.

He only had a couple of days to find a solution, and there was one that was simple enough. Just ask Naruto. Yet there too, something that should have been inconsequential turned out to be way more complicated than he had planned.

"What do you mean you don't have one? You don't have a spare?"

"No. I mean I don't have one period. No spare or otherwise. I just don't."

Sasuke knew Naruto hated when he looked at him like he was now, disbelief bordering on condescendence. Sasuke made an effort to reign it in, but he was so often baffled by the scope of Naruto's disconnection from what Sasuke – and anyone else – saw as mundane, normal.

"You don't have mourning clothes," Sasuke repeated just to be sure. Naruto huffed, upset.

"No. I don't."

Sasuke didn't either, but Sasuke had a good reason – when he had operated the slow process of moving into Naruto's space, mourning clothes hadn't exactly been at the top of the priority list. They were still sitting at the bottom of his closet in his family home, slowly rotting away like the rest of the things he had left there, unless someone had decided to finally empty the district. He didn't know, and he didn't care. He had taken what he needed with him. He wouldn't go back there.

He wouldn't go back, and that's why he had thought he could just borrow Naruto's. Even if he had had only one outfit, they could have split between the two of them, and add a simple black shirt and shorts to the mix. Not very conventional, but it would have done the job.

Nothing could ever be simple though.

"What are you wearing to the ceremony then?"

Naruto looked away then, focused back on the large plant he was trimming carefully. Pepper plant, or was it tomatoes? They all looked the same to him.

His next words were spoken to the green leaves, so low that Sasuke didn't catch them.

"What did you say?"

"I said 'm not going."

Sasuke should have remembered things could always get worse.

"What? Why?"

Naruto stilled, for a second, he paused in his tracks and thoughts, and looked on the verge of talking, of finally breaking the silence he had been sinking into for the past few days. He was in an especially sullen mood today because Mizuki-sensei had accused him of cheating on his last test and had cut his grade in half, despite having no proof and all the others protesting that it was unfair. Everyone was on edge, even the teachers – and Naruto always took the burn of it somehow.

Sasuke held his breath, full of anticipation. But the moment past, Naruto snapped another leaf, he retreated back into himself.

"I'm just not."

Sasuke wanted to scream. Or to shake him in all direction. Or both.

He didn't really have a case to make though. There was no obligation to go to the commemoration ceremony. There was just no reason not to go either. It would be the first time Sasuke would go alone, without his family, and he wasn't looking forward to it at all. He had hoped they could shoulder it together.

"What did you wear last year then?" Sasuke asked, trying to focus on one problem at a time. Naruto shrugged.

"I didn't go last year either."

This was making less and less sense. Of course back then Sasuke had other things to focus on than the absence of a classmate. It wasn't so surprising that he didn't remember seeing him there, or well, not seeing him. But still…

"And the year before?"

Naruto shook his head.

"You never went?"

Another pause, a hesitation.

"Once."

"And?"

Naruto pinched his lips, buried deeper into the leaves. Was it the reason why Naruto was so gloom now? The ceremony? True, the village was always in a grim, dark mood this time of the year, and some people took it harder than others. He knew some didn't make it to the commemoration, but it was usually those who had lost the most, whose grief was still too strong to be handled in public. They used to go to a few houses with his family, to friends of his parents, and give some offerings, food and alcohol, for the few who couldn't bear to mourn with everyone else.

Was Naruto mourning?

Sasuke realized with an abrupt shock that he had no idea what had happened to Naruto's parents.

"Are you…"

"Just leave it."

Naruto sounded distressed now, losing his grip over his emotions, whatever they were.

"Why can't you just tell me?"

"Because I don't want to! I don't care about that stupid day, about any of it! Leave me alone."

"Naruto…"

"I said leave it!"

There was a snap.

They both stared at the branch as it tumbled on the floor, cut off in distraction by Naruto's outburst.

"Ah."

The small pruner clattered loudly on the floor.

"Ah…"

To Sasuke's horror, Naruto's eyes started to shine dangerously, his breathe getting labored as he stared at the stump where the branch used to be, that had no reason to be cut out. Sasuke went to put a hand on his shoulder, to snap him out of it, intent on comforting him.

Naruto jerked away.

"I told you to leave me alone!" he yelled, accusing. As if it was Sasuke's fault somehow, and Sasuke lost the battle against his own temper. He just wanted to help, dammit, why was Naruto being so difficult?

"Just tell me what's going on!"

"No!"

"Fine! Say nothing then!"

It wasn't easy storming off in a place as small as theirs, Sasuke had to walk past Naruto on the way to his room. He slammed the door shut in his back, had a split second of panic where he feared it would topple one pot or another to the ground. When no crashing sound came, he threw himself on his bed and buried his head in his pillow, trying to quench his anger.

He was just at a loss, with no idea what to do, and it frustrated him to no end. And here he thought he was the one who was hard to get through. He would never have guessed Naruto could be so damn stubborn, so resistant to his help or their friends'.

Sasuke resigned himself to ask Shikamaru or Shino for some spare clothes, and hope that whatever was wrong with Naruto, it would pass on its own, or that he would finally open up.

.

"Naruto?"

Sasuke's voice was muffled by the door, and by the comforter Naruto had wrapped around himself in an attempt to find some comfort. He didn't answer.

"Naruto, are you awake?"

He sounded concerned, Sasuke. He sounded worried and upset, and Naruto hated that, and he hated that it was his fault, and that he could do nothing about it. Still he didn't answer.

The doorbell rung.

"That must be Lee," Sasuke said from the other side of the door. "He came to fetch me."

At least he hadn't said "us". He had finally given up.

There was a long pause where Naruto thought he could hear Sasuke's regular breathing, even the pulse of his heartbeat – or maybe it was just his own. He was equally hoping and dreading that Sasuke wouldn't stand for it after all, that he would barge in, demand an answer. Surely this time, Naruto would manage to tell him. Surely…

"Well, I'm off then. I'll see you later."

Sasuke's footsteps retreated, the front door opened and closed.

Naruto was alone.

He didn't blame Sasuke for not knowing. No one did. Sasuke hadn't asked, and Naruto hadn't told him. It wouldn't have been such an issue if it was just any other day. Naruto would have been able to say it then.

"It's my birthday today."

There was no one to hear it now though, only his plush frog and the plants in his bedroom. In the end, he couldn't say it.

Who would care it was his birthday, when they were remembering all the terrible things that had happened just as he was born? Naruto had gone to the ceremony only once, his last year at the orphanage. Before that, he was too young – the caretakers couldn't take all the kids, so some had to stay behind, and he was always among those. But at five, he was old enough to take care of himself, to go unsupervised. He had just been wondering what all the fuss was about.

Naively, he had thought it would have to do with his birthday maybe.

But it wasn't a day of birth, in the villagers' mind.

He remembered it vividly, his sixth birthday, where he had ventured outside to see the commemoration for the first and last time. Maybe it was because people were more on edge than usual. Maybe it was because he reminded them of all they had lost, he who was born on that dreadful day. Whatever it was, all the stares had felt heavier, all the whispers harsher, all the insults louder. Where there was usually an attempt at discretion, there was now open disdain and hatred.

He had been very scared.

There was no way he was ever doing that again. He was not welcome at the memorial ceremony. Never mind his birthday, he could celebrate it by himself, with his plants and the special ramen he bought the week before. It was all fine.

Except he had wished maybe it would be different this year. That maybe Sasuke would be there. But Sasuke couldn't know things he didn't know, things Naruto didn't tell. No one at the Academy knew of his birthday.

He didn't know why it was so hard this year, why it was so much worse. He suspected it had to do with Sasuke's own birthday. He had meant what he'd told him back then.

"Thanks to that day, you're here now. It's worth celebrating."

No one had ever celebrated Naruto's birth. No one was grateful for that day.

No one was happy he was alive.

Was it selfish of him, to wish someone would put him above the tragedy? That he didn't want to be miserable and sad for his birthday? He knew it was also the death day of his parents, but if he missed the life they could have had together all the time, he had no reason to mourn them more on that day than any other.

A small, caustic part of him wondered if Sasuke did know after all, if he just thought it wasn't worth it, that Naruto didn't measure up against the commemoration. He hadn't dared tell him, because what if Sasuke thought too that he had no right to ask for a celebration?

He knew everyone wished that day had never happened.

He couldn't help but think that if it meant he was never born, they wouldn't think twice about making the deal. They wished he wasn't there. Because it would mean it had not come to pass. No massacre, no death. And no Naruto.

He tightened the comforter around his shoulder, tried to hide inside himself.

To disappear maybe.

.

They followed the flow like twigs carried away by a river of black. All around them faces were down, eyes were shining. Even the youngest, who had no recollection of the event nor reasons to cry for it, were affected by the bleak mood and stayed silent.

Sasuke was grateful for Lee's proposal that they go to the ceremony together. They would have both been alone in the crowd otherwise, and Sasuke would never have asked. It was so strange to see the usual cheerful boy clad all in black and looking so somber. There was so many death to remember on the anniversary of the Kyuubi attack that more and more, people took the day as the occasion to just honor the dead, all of them. After the official ceremony they would all flood the cemetery and spend a few hours with their family and friends, leaving food and small gifts for those who had passed away.

Sasuke used to spend the day at the Uchiha temple, lighting incense and running around between the tall headstones.

No one would lay flowers for the fallen Uchiha this year.

As he didn't know about Naruto's family, Lee's was likewise a mystery to him. He wondered if he ought to feel bad about never asking. But he didn't like people asking him, and he just assumed it was the same for others. If Lee wanted to talk about it, he could.

The crowd made its way to the open ground surrounding the memorial stone. As usual, it was shinobi on one side, civilians on the other – they didn't mingle, didn't exchange much. Each side kept to themselves, even on this day, when they were united by their sense of loss. Discord didn't disappear because they shared their pain.

Near the stone stood the Sandaime, all in black too, as well as a few clan heads and high-ranking jounin. Lee and Sasuke nodded briefly at their friends in the crowd before choosing a spot near the back.

Sasuke didn't want to risk one of the adults in the front seeing him doze off. They stood surrounded by kids, and Lee greeted some of them – it was were gathered the ones coming from the orphanage, Sasuke realized, most of whom looked less than pleased to waste their time here. It was oddly comforting.

"Hello, everyone," the Sandaime said, loud enough to cover the rumor of the crowd, pausing so that the last bouts of conversation would die down. "Thank you all for coming here today."

Sasuke tuned out almost immediately. He wasn't sure he could bear hearing about great loss, grief and sacrifice without losing it completely, and he had no taste for a breakdown in front of the entire village. It was important to be here with everyone, and so he was, but that didn't mean he was going to enjoy it.

Maybe he should have just stayed home with Naruto.

But no. Sasuke could, would power through. If Naruto wanted to escape it, it was his problem. Sasuke would endure.

"… that we remember those who have left us…"

There had been no ceremony for the Uchiha clan. Or well, not one he had been to, still knocked out cold at the hospital, but he couldn't imagine who would have turned up. He was the last one standing, and what friends did they have outside the clan?

Who remembered them, apart from him?

The speech was mercifully short. Then came time for the prayers, in solemn silence or haunting songs, and that part was easier. It felt like coming back to life after getting so close to the dead, sharing something with the living this time. Sasuke liked to sing.

He trampled mercilessly the memories fighting their way to the surface of his thoughts, of the last time he had done this, of learning those songs and prayers, of singing in the temple. His mother often recalled the events of that day, the easier ones at least, how his brother had carried him to the shelter, how Sasuke cried if anyone else tried to hold him. He shut down that image too. He was getting better and better at blocking it all. More and more it felt like another life entirely, something that had happened to someone else.

Someone who was dead, just like all the people in those memories.

Then, finally, it was over.

The orphan kids wasted no time dispersing – some had to be shaken up from pretty much napping standing up. After some times the adults would turn toward the cemetery and the kids would be free to run around on their own, and Sasuke wasn't exactly thrilled by this, but he was still upset by Naruto's incomprehensible behavior, and he didn't want to go home just yet.

"Hello, Lee! And… Sasuke?"

He seemed surprised to see him here.

"Good morning, Iruka-sensei!"

"Hello."

Iruka was looking around, searching, and Sasuke guessed he was wondering where Naruto was. It made him angry again, but mostly at himself – he had failed to coax him out of the house, or even out of himself. He didn't need the reminder.

"He's not here. He didn't want to come," he huffed, annoyed.

"Yes, I figured… You could have stayed with him, you know. No one would have begrudged you your absence."

First, that wasn't true. His parents wouldn't have liked him just skipping the ceremony. And second…

"I'm not his babysitter! He didn't want me to anyway! I don't even know why he wouldn't come!"

Iruka's face did something complicated, passing through several emotions – none pleasant – and Sasuke knew he had missed something big.

"He… didn't tell you?"

.

Was that why he was unlovable? Was that why he was alone? Who would be grateful for him, when his birth had been companion to such tragedy. Was that the reason?

His thoughts were spiraling down and he was powerless to stop it. He could only wait until it passed, hope that his mind would clear as the day faded away to another one, another date that wasn't a black spot on the calendar. Then he could bury it all for another year, forget about it.

That plan was shattered by his door bursting open.

"Naruto!"

Reflexed prevailed over his lethargy and he sat up in an instant, covers flying around as he turned to face Sasuke, out of breath and red all over. It dislodged the cat, who still didn't have a name and who had come to lay down next to Naruto, as if he could sense he was in desperate need of company and comfort. Which was stupid, because the cat didn't like him either.

Before he could utter a word, Sasuke stalked toward him and grabbed his face between his hands, forcing their eyes to meet.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Naruto couldn't tell if Sasuke was angry or not, and at whom.

"Why didn't you tell me about your parents? And your birth? Why didn't you tell me it was today?"

"How-how did you know?"

"Iruka told me. Why didn't you, Naruto?"

And the answer was simple and yet impossible to voice out.

He was just scared Sasuke would be like everyone else.

_"Who cares about your birthday when so many are gone?"_

"It's… It's not important. Compared to…"

"Who cares about that!"

Sasuke was angry indeed. But not at him. Not really. Naruto relaxed a little.

"Like… everyone? And no one cares about…"

_No one cares about me._

He didn't say it. Sasuke knew anyway.

"I do."

He let go of Naruto's face but he didn't go far – he sat in front of him, cross-legged on the mattress stripped of its covers.

"I do. I care. I care more about you than all this."

He gestured vaguely around and Naruto wasn't sure what "this" was.

"Had this day never happened…"

"Then you would still be here."

Sasuke could be so inflexible when he wanted to, so absolutely sure of himself. Usually this tone came with random facts or moral imperatives, occasionally about his own feelings.

To hear it like this now…

"You could have been born any other day. It had nothing to do with you. It wasn't your fault."

Wasn't it? It felt like it was though. When others looked at him, when he saw their faces, it really felt like it.

"It's… it's like a miracle. That you survived. With all that happened then… It's…"

Sasuke searched for the right word for a second.

"It's a blessing."

He was unusually emotional, like he only was when his own grief resurfaced. Naruto hadn't considered how hard it would be for his friend, to think about death like this. He should have. He should have gone with him.

"Are you alright?" he asked, because he couldn't handle this, it was too much, and he had to go back to safer, easier things. Sasuke wouldn't have it though.

"I'm fine. Lee was here, it was alright."

"I'm sorr…"

"Don't. Forget about it. I told you it was fine. It's not always all on you."

An exasperated opinion Sasuke had voiced before. He got weirdly annoyed at Naruto's tendency to apologize all the time and to try and help all the time in any way he could. Naruto had learned though, the difference between the things Sasuke was truly upset about, and the ones he complained about but didn't actually make him mad.

"Alright, come on. Get up and get dressed, we're going out."

Naruto's face fell.

"What? No!"

"Yes!

"Why?"

"You'll see. Come on."

Naruto stayed rooted to the spot, seized with panic. He didn't want to go outside. He didn't want to be seen, for people to look at him, and he didn't want to see them either. To hear what they would whisper on his path. He was safe here between these walls.

"Come on. We should celebrate."

"We can't," Naruto said, stubborn. "We can't. A lot of people died. My parents died."

"But you didn't."

Was that really a good thing though?

Once again it felt like Sasuke could read his thoughts – or maybe Naruto was just too expressive for his own good. Despite the exaggerated slowness of Sasuke's movements, Naruto didn't realize he was getting enveloped in a hug until he was squeezed in Sasuke's arms.

"It's a blessing," he said again.

"For-for who?" Naruto asked, voice wavering.

"At the very least for you. And for me."

Naruto choked up around a strangle sob and buried deeper into the embrace, and Sasuke said nothing as he spilled tears on his shirt, waiting for him to calm down.

It felt like it would never happen, but eventually, he did. If Sasuke said it, maybe it was true. He trusted him – Sasuke wouldn't lie about that.

Sasuke drew back, he extended a hand. He looked fierce, determined, and it made Naruto feel a little better. It wouldn't be the same. This time, Sasuke would be there too.

"Trust me?"

Naruto nodded shakily. He took the offered hand, Sasuke pulled him to his feet. He had borrowed some of Shikamaru's clothes after all, as they were the same height. There was a set for Naruto too, just in case, lying untouched on his desk chair. It was slightly too big on him – Naruto was the smallest of them all, smaller even than Sakura and Hinata, to his great mortification.

It was still nice though. The smell was familiar – all in all they spent quite some time at Shikamaru's place, when Naruto wasn't hiding away in his bedroom. It gave him some measure of strength, to think that his friend had been confident he would eventually go out today.

Naruto knew they fretted over him behind his back, that Sasuke had asked everyone about what might be going on with his sulking roommate. It warmed Naruto to his core.

"Alright. Alright, I'm ready," he lied as they stood at the door.

Sasuke took his hand.

Naruto kept his eyes on the ground the whole time. When he did raise his gaze, it was to look at Sasuke, who was sporting the most aggressive expression Naruto had ever seen on him. They walked fast, breathing past the villagers mingling on the streets, and conversations quieted as they passed, eyes looked away. Sasuke was still holding his hand, pulling him along. If Naruto stayed focused on him, then he could keep the panic at bay.

It didn't take long for him to guess where they were heading.

"Ichiraku is closed on holidays," he said, confused, as they approached the shop. The curtain was drawn down, the lights were off, but Sasuke didn't slow down. He led them to the side of the small building, in front of a service door that opened as soon as he knocked on it. Ayame ushered them inside.

Naruto had never been in the back of the shop. It was very small and cramped, used mostly for storage since all the cooking happened in plain sight behind the shop's counter. But there was a small table propped in the middle, where Old Teuchi and his daughter took their break probably.

They both looked pleased as punch. On the table were set four fuming bowls.

"I-I don't understand," Naruto said weakly, because he kind of did understand, but it was just too good to be true.

"We convinced Old Teuchi to make an exception," Sasuke said proudly.

"We?"

He blushed.

"Lee did the talking. He's very persuasive."

The old man laughed at that. "He surely is!"

Naruto didn't doubt that – although had only had a vague idea of what "persuasive" meant – but still…

Sasuke pushed him forward so that he was sitting in front of a bowl. It was filled to the brim, with extra slices of meat and an extra egg too.

"Happy birthday, Naruto."

And Naruto couldn't help but cry again because it was the very first time, the first time he heard those words, the first time he wasn't alone for this, the first time he was allowed to celebrate, the first time someone wanted to. He had gotten free ramen the previous year too, but he had lied about the date, and the old man had to know that, but he didn't look mad. He just laughed, as Ayame fretted, worried, and when Naruto managed to get a grip on his overflowing emotions, they settled down to eat.

It was nine years since the Nine-Tails attack today, nine years for many death and destruction. But it was also nine years for Naruto in this world, and there were people who were happy with that, and this was the best birthday he had ever had.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Related to this chapter, I rambled about Naruto's birth [on my tumblr](https://inrainprose.tumblr.com/post/185766552959/about-narutos-birth). The more I think about it, the more messed up it becomes :( Seriously, I made myself sad. Teuchi is the Superior Adult as always haha. We'll go back to Iruka too next time, but he was at his parents' graves here... Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. Drop a word if you did, and see you next time!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday Naruto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some good ol' fluff for a change. I'm going to be massively busy in the upcoming weeks so sadly I won't be able to post for a while, but I"m leaving you on a happy note! Not quite satisfied with what I manage to get out of this chapter, but I didn't want to drag it out. Thank you all so much for your comments and support, you're the best, I hope you'll enjoy!

He supposed Naruto, after years of practice, was able to ignore his interrogations on the matter, he supposed it was easier for him not to wonder too much, not to ask questions he knew he wouldn’t get answers too.

But Sasuke didn’t have such experience, and it was driving him crazy.

He wanted to _talk_ about it.  He wanted to ask, he wanted to accuse, he wanted to rage. It was just so ridiculous. He couldn’t believe every single person in the village, baring a very few exceptions, felt this way about Naruto. He couldn’t believe his own parents could have felt this way, would have been among those who had looked offended that Naruto was even out in the streets on the day of his birthday.

It was simple enough – either there was more to it, or there wasn’t. And he didn’t know what would be worse. On one hand, something else could be a very bad something, bad enough to make all these adults hate on a child, bad enough that he didn’t want it to be. But on the other hand, if that was all it was, if it all pertained to Naruto’s ill-timed birth…

Then they were just _that_ bad. And it sucked.

He was stuck there in his internal grumbling when Shikamaru interrupted because he was rude like that.

“Is Naruto feeling better?”

“Hm. He’ll be back at school next week.”

Despite Sasuke’s prodding, Naruto wouldn’t get out of the house until then. The village was slowly sliding back into a lighter disposition, but Sasuke still felt on edge about the whole thing.

He intended to go back to his silent fuming, but to his surprise, Shikamaru kept standing there instead of joining the others outside for recess. There was finally a ray of sunshine piercing through the clouds after almost a straight week of heavy rain – the weather accommodating with the village’s mood, it seemed – and everyone was going a bit crazy over it.

Except for Sasuke, who was sulking, and Shikamaru, who couldn’t have fun the normal way. Ino’s words, not Sasuke’s.

“Did you want something?”

Surprisingly enough, Shikamaru almost looked… embarrassed, as he scratched the back of his head and looked sideways.

“Yeah, see I was thinking that… Maybe, we could, I don’t know. Do something. You know.”

“I… don’t.”

“I mean, put something… together. For Naruto’s birthday.”

Sasuke slammed his hand on his desk and jumped to his feet, startling the other boy.

“You knew?”

“Woah, no, I didn’t, alright! Okay maybe I kind of had an idea… But I only just checked the registry to be sure!” he said hastily, placating. Sasuke glared at him.

“You could have just said something.”

“Yeah, I guess. Sorry.”

Shikamaru was the opposite of a meddler, but sometimes he should have been meddling a little more, really.

Ino’s words, not Sasuke’s.

“So? What were you saying?” Sasuke asked, crossing his arms to make sure Shikamaru didn’t think he was letting him off the hook so easily. The boy sighed and buried his hands in his pockets, as he did when he was about to launch into a conversation he didn’t want to have.

So, all the time.

“We could… I don’t know. We invite the others. Have cake or something. Presents. Well you know! Birthday stuff.”

For the sake of preserving the angry front, Sasuke refrained from hitting his forehead in mortification. Why hadn’t he think of that? This was exactly what Naruto needed. And he wouldn’t even be breaking his words of not telling their friends anything, because they didn’t have to tell them the real date, or the reason for his absence – he had more or less convinced them that Naruto was just really sick, even if he was pretty sure they had just pretended to buy it for his and Naruto’s sake.

“We could do it at my house,” Shikamaru went on. “My mother wouldn’t mind.”

“Are you sure?”

“I… already asked her. Just in case.”

He was… blushing. Barely, but it was there.

“That’s… nice,” Sasuke said awkwardly, not really knowing what to do with all this.

“So, huh… how do we… do that?”

“I was thinking of telling Choji, and then he’ll tell Ino, and she’ll tell everyone and also organize the whole thing.”

“Okay good,” Sasuke said in a relieved rush, before frowning, embarrassed. He just wasn’t any good at this. The idea of even bringing up the subject with the others was exhausting already. At least Shikamaru could probably relate – it was the thought that counted, right? Ino would be more than happy to handle it.

“Let me handle it,” she said – ordered really – at the end of the day when Choji told her. She was so predictable. But she was also kind of their savior right now, so Sasuke was just grateful.

.

In the end, the hardest part of this whole endeavor was luring Naruto out to Shikamaru’s house.

They had decided to make it a surprise, which only served to make Sasuke’s life harder, because he was a bad liar and a pretty unimaginative one too, and there was only so many times he could give a vague, non-descriptive answer to Naruto’s “why do we have to go?” before it all started to get very suspicious. Fortunately – or not, not really, really not – Naruto fell quiet as soon as they were out in the streets, still wary of the grieving atmosphere, still wishing not to be seen, by anyone. Sasuke dragged him through the districts and breathed a discreet sigh of relief when they were out of the most crowded ones and on their way to the Nara’s forest.

“I still don’t get why we couldn’t just stay at home,” Naruto mumbled for the umpteenth time, because he was nothing if not tenacious.

Sasuke just walked faster.

Instead of knocking at the main house door, they rounded the corner toward the patio, Sasuke practically running at this point so that Naruto wouldn’t have time to ponder at that too. He was gripped for a second with the irrational fear that their friends wouldn’t be there after all, or that Nara Yoshino would throw them out for intruding like this.

It was for naught. He ran straight into Sakura, who shoved him back with a dramatic sigh.

“About time! We’ve been waiting forever!”

They were six minutes behind schedule, but Sasuke felt drained already, so he didn’t mention it.

“Huh... Hi guys?” Naruto greeted behind him, confused. “What are you all doing here?”

Sasuke stepped aside, more than happy to pass the baton to someone else, so it was Sakura who smiled at him and took his hand to pull him in, pointing at a table propped in a corner, covered in food, drinks, and presents.

“Happy birthday, Naruto!”

.

Sometimes, when something really big happened, Naruto found himself incapable of reacting to it.

It was as if there were so many emotions rushing into his head, they sort of all got stuck at the entrance and couldn’t pull through, and he was left feeling puzzled, but not much else.

It had happened once when he had been peering inside an okonomiyaki restaurant and the owner had yelled at him with such force Naruto had lost his footing and tumbled to the ground, and stayed frozen there for all of the man’s tirade about never wanting to see his face around there again. There had been no threat in the words, but it was there in his entire person – Naruto stayed cleared of that entire street now.

It had happened on that day at the orphanage where he had gotten down from the dorms to have breakfast as he always did, only to be stopped in the hallway and be told by the head nurse that he was no longer living there. At the end of the day he was alone in an apartment near the Academy, and he had spent that first night right there on the floor, too stunned to move.

It had happened on other occasions, a few times, but this was the first it was actually for something...

Something good.

He just didn’t believe there was a physical reaction that could appropriately translate what he was feeling right now. He wanted to laugh, he wanted to cry, he wanted to hug all of them at once, he wanted to roll on the ground and bury his head in the grass, he wanted to jump, to run, he wanted to hide in his shirt. So he did nothing.

He did nothing but smile like an idiot, eyes shining, as Sakura explained to him that they had decided an afternoon all together would be nice, and that it was his birthday, so it was a great occasion.

Sasuke was shadowing him and Naruto could almost feel his confusion. He was probably wondering where the tears were, because Naruto should have been nothing more than a puddle right now. But Naruto was overwhelmed, he couldn’t understand his own feelings, therefore he couldn’t express them.

None of his friends seemed to be worried by this, by his lack of words and his dumbstruck face. There was a lot of food, cooked by Choji and his mother mostly, so they stuffed their face with cake and sweets, and so it was easier for Naruto to believe this was just a random get together, that they weren’t celebrating anything in particular.

Until they moved to the gifts.

There was a book. Shikamaru had unearthed it from the dusty shelves of the bookstore, because it was an adventure story about ninjas, but mainly because the main character was called Naruto. Kiba was super jealous and Naruto said he would lend it to him when he was done with it. Kiba stuck his tongue at him. He figured, if need be, Sasuke could read it to him.

Then there was the jacket. Naruto had been eyeing it for ages in some display in the shopping district. Sasuke always grimaced at it when they passed by, because it was bright orange and blue and he was allergic to colors, but Naruto thought it was the coolest thing ever. He didn’t have the money for it though.

“Hinata was the one to sew the symbol in the back,” Sakura said, pointing at the red spiral as the girl hid behind her. "We pitched in. I admit that, heh, wouldn’t have been my first choice but… You said you had to think about things that would make the ones who got it happy, so… Also Sasuke said there was no way he would buy that hideous thing himself."

Sasuke pouted at that, and Naruto resolved that maybe he didn’t have to get the orange pants to go with it. Besides, it wasn’t so bad with his black shorts. Sasuke had the same, only his wore the white ones this time – they had several pairs at home and they kept swapping them instead of trying to split them between their respective wardrobes. Now Sasuke wouldn’t be borrowing that jacket any time soon, that was for sure.

It was the coolest thing Naruto had ever worn, and he wasn’t cold in the least – he never was, really – but he still put it on and kept it for the rest of the day.

“Alright losers, move, ‘cause _I_ definitely have the best present,” Ino said, theatrical as always, as she took the stage in the middle of their little group. She wasn’t carrying anything though.

“Since my cousin made chunin she can’t help around at the flower shop anymore, and my aunt has been bitching about finding someone else. I put in a word for you. You can work there after the Academy sometimes, starting next week.”

And then, losing a bit of her confidence because Naruto had to look like a dying fish, eyes round and mouth hanging, she added a small “if you want to.”

Ah. Feelings were returning full force.

“That… that would be really cool,” Naruto managed to choke out around a sob. She beamed, pleased as punch.

“Right?”

He thought he was going to explode them, to burst into tears and never stop, but he found that that’s not exactly what he felt like doing. His eyes were bright but he just wanted to smile. He wanted to smile and laugh until his face broke in half.

“Thank you very much. All of you. This was… this was very nice. I’m really. I’m really happy. Thank you.”

And they didn’t let him break down anyway because Kiba jumped him with a laugh and ruffled his hair and then they were talking and messing around again. And he could handle it. He didn’t want to hide, not just yet. This was too nice.

He wasn’t just happy, he realized. He had known happy before, even if not much, and there was something more here. He touched the sleeve of the orange jacket, and he felt…

Loved.

That was it. He felt loved. Not from afar, not from above, but in a very real, very blunt way. This was the reason why all this was happening right now, this was why they were gathered here. He was loved, by these people around him. They had wanted to celebrate, and to do something nice, for him, because they cared.

It was so warm, this feeling. So sweet and whole, huge and all-encompassing.

He didn’t know life could feel this way.

.

“Here,” Sasuke said, holding out a badly wrapped packet. “What? Did you think I wouldn’t have a present?” he asked, a bit aggressive.

“I thought _this_ was the present,” Naruto answered, gesturing around to the food, the practice weapons and targets they had used for a makeshift throwing contest that Sasuke had won, their friends arguing about what team they would end up in after graduation and what jounin would make the best teachers.

“Open it,” Sasuke grumbled.

Naruto made quick work of the brown paper to unearth the weapon pouch Sasuke had stuffed with shining kunai and shuriken. Only the best – Sasuke wouldn’t settle for anything else.

“It’s from Tenten and Lee too.”

“Weapons. It figures,” Ino commented from behind them, as they all crowded Naruto to get a better look. Naruto chuckled, amused at Sasuke’s blush as he looked away. He was split between hoping Naruto would notice right away, and wouldn’t until later, because he didn’t know how he would react to it, and how he himself would react to his reaction. He had told himself a million reasons to justify it, but he was sure none would come back to him now.

Naruto did notice. He starred at Sasuke, wide-eyed, and yeah, now was time for the tears, it seemed.

“Are you… are you sure?” he asked, voice trembling.

Sasuke stirred him away gently as their friends pretended not to notice anything. Or, well, Kiba asked loudly what was happening, and Shino had to stop him from following, but otherwise, they disappeared undisturbed.

“Are you sure?” Naruto asked again once they were alone in the kitchen since Shikamaru’s mom suddenly had something better to do on the other side of the house.

“We… We are together, you and I. Ain’t we?” Sasuke said an answer. “We’re like that. Like a clan.”

“With two people?”

Sasuke shrugged, to convey “why not?”, because he didn’t know how to talk about it.

Naruto looked back at the weapon pouch in his hand, at the tiny Uchiha fan stitched there at the bottom. A good thing Sasuke had brought several from his house when he had moved – he dreaded the thought of going back there. But he would have. For this, for Naruto, he would have, if need be.

“It’s almost like… like family, right?” Naruto asked, unsure. “Like we were…”

He hesitated. He wouldn’t say it. He had stopped like this before, and it made Sasuke’s guts churn, because what if…

“Do you not want to be?”

He didn’t want to say it either. Not if there was a chance it would be ill-received.

“Not… not really, no.”

Sasuke’s pinched his lips hard, fighting against a wounded whine climbing up his throat. That was… That hurt. That hurt.

“Wh-Why not?” he asked, and he sounded too desperate and too insecure and he hated it, and hated he couldn’t fight it.

“It’s just… you…”

Naruto was clutching at the pouch, searching for his words.

“Sasuke, you… you already have a brother. And I… I really don’t want to be like him.”

The fist circling Sasuke’s heart loosened as he took in Naruto’s pained but fierce expression. He had thought about this. Maybe as much as Sasuke had.

They were standing close, forehead almost touching. Sasuke closed his hands around Naruto’s and the pouch.

“If I… If I have a brother…”

He wondered how it was that it hadn’t even crossed his mind. There was nothing to compare. There was no thinking about it. If he had to choose…

“If I have a brother, then it’s you.”

For a second the rest of the world seemed to fade away. They could vaguely hear their friends’ voices and laughter carrying from outside, they were alone in there but they weren’t at the same time. Naruto pressed their forehead together. He was smiling softly, glowing golden in the fading light of the late afternoon, eyes shining but tears kept at bay for once.

It felt surreal, and yet he was here, solid under Sasuke’s touch, warm and alive. They both were. They both were here, together.

“D’you mean it?”

“Yeah. I mean it.”

“Alright. Alright then. Alright.”

Naruto’s voice was tight with emotions but he looked _happy_. Content. Until he turned fierce again, until he put the pouch down so that he could take Sasuke’s face in his hands, force their eyes to meet.

“I’ll never hurt you. You know? I promise. I’ll never betray you.”

 _Like that,_ he didn’t say. _Like before. Like he did._

Sasuke’s gripped his wrists, desperate for an anchor as emotions threatened to overwhelm him.

“No betrayal. That’s a rule,” he said weakly, attempting to deflect because they were nearing their limits of emotions for the day.

“That’s a rule,” Naruto agreed happily.

They inked it in on their scroll when they made it back home, after a long, bright day surrounded by their friends and their unrestrained joy, and possessed with the confusing but unrestrainable feeling that they ought to remember it, to etch it into their memory for the years to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We don't know where that jacket came from so, yeah :p Wanted to address the brother thing for a while, that IS the name of this series after all... Next chapter will be quite different and pretty angtsy. Maybe I'll split it in two for extra pain. Let me know your thoughts. See you!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the second half of this in the past hour and I'm posting now. All on board the painful revelation train. 
> 
> Still blown away by the amount of attention and feedback this story got. Thank you all very much for your support!

“Are you sure you want to do that?”

Naruto didn’t answer, just gave an exasperated nod and a huff. Sasuke pouted. He hadn’t asked _that_ many times.

They made their way to the tall building with the green roof, the one near the Academy where a lot of chunin and jounin lived. They knew the way by now, knew the long corridors with the red doors, knew which one they needed to reach.

In no time at all they were standing in front of Iruka’s door.

“You’re really sure?”

Naruto blew out.

“No I’m not! I’m not, I’m not, so stop asking!”

He was tensed as a bowstring, shaking slightly. No wonder why he had been so quiet on the way – that, and Sasuke asking the same question six times maybe.

The boy couldn’t help but worry.

“If-if you think it’s such a bad idea, then just go.”

Oh, what a lie that was, the carelessness Naruto tried to put in his tone. He was already on the verge of tears and they hadn’t asked anything yet.

There was no way, no way Sasuke was leaving now.

He took Naruto’s hands in his – he had to pry his fingers open from the tight fist they were painfully bundled into.

“Let’s do this.”

Naruto nodded once and rung the bell.

There was shuffling on the other side, a muffled “coming!”. Iruka was always home. Or, probably not always, but always when it mattered. The boys had never found a closed door and an empty apartment until now.

“Oh, hello boys! How are you? Did you need something?”

He seemed… something. He was smiling, but it was a bit absent, and he was a bit pale, like he had been sick. Truth be told, he had for the whole week, classes quieter and less lively than usual. Naruto rocked back on his feet, uncomfortable. Was he chickening out? But they had come all this way…

“Can we come in, sensei?” Sasuke asked. It was a bit rude and his mother would have scolded him if she could hear, but they had to get what they had come from.

And his mother couldn’t hear him.

Iruka hesitated, just a second, looked back in his apartment as if pondering if they could, indeed, come in. He agreed, eventually, and opened the door wider.

The place was a little messier than usual, some clothes lying around, dirty dishes in the sink and on the counter. They sat on the sofa instead of the kitchen counter this time, the kids side by side and Iruka half-facing them on the plush chair he seemed to favor. There was a pile of tests waiting to be graded on the low table.

“What can I do for you?”

Naruto was tongue-tied, squeezing Sasuke’s hand for dear life, and the boy resolved to take the lead for now.

“It was Naruto’s birthday last week.”

Iruka’s face made a complicated thing – it lightened up and soured at the same time as if a sweet had turned bitter in his mouth.

“I know.”

“Well, we wanted to ask…”

“Are those your parents?”

Sasuke refrained from scolding Naruto for interrupting, as if it wasn’t hard enough as it was. They followed his gaze to the small altar tucked on one of the shelves of Iruka’s bookcase. There stood a picture, two smiling adult and a small child with a familiar scar across his nose. There were incense and candles burning in front of it, freshly lit.

“Yes.”

There were gifts too, a few flowers, a cup of sake, some sweets. Things that were brought for O-bon in the summer, or…

“They… They were killed during the Kyuubi attack,” Sasuke said. “Weren’t they?”

Naruto tensed even more, if it was possible, as sadness descended on their teacher, enveloping him like a blanket. He had never seemed so human in Sasuke’s eyes, not a teacher, just a normal person with a normal life. He regretted asking.

“Ah, yes, they were. Like many others.”

Iruka wasn’t very old. Ten years ago… He was not very old at all.

Orphan.

He knew Naruto was going to chicken out. There was no way he would dare ask now. But they had come all this way and Sasuke had taken to the idea. He wasn’t sure they would find the courage again. It had to be now.

“We wanted to ask,” he repeated, before Naruto could make a hasty retreat, before they lost their nerve, “something. As a… as a b-birthday present.”

He had never felt so impolite in his whole life and was sure his mother’s ghost would burst out of a wall to shame him any second. How was it that Naruto managed to say things like this all the time? Sasuke was mortified.

Fortunately, Iruka didn’t seem to take offense. He chuckled, the shadow lifting from his eyes as he returned back to the present, to them. His smile was still a little distant, but it was sincere.

“It’s true I didn’t get you anything, Naruto, so why not? Go on, ask me.”

The question was aimed at them both but Sasuke was tongue-tied now, too embarrassed to go on. He regretted not backing down before after all – didn’t they risk to anger the man, or sadden him even more? He had been too caught up on his own curiosity, and now he couldn’t own up to him.

It was Naruto’s turn to pick up the thread, for he was, in the end, the bravest of the two.

“I would like you to tell me please. About…”

Iruka’s eyes widened at the uncharacteristic politeness and hesitation. Naruto twisted held on tight on Sasuke’s hand.

“About… a-about…”

He glanced nervously at the picture behind the man, and maybe Iruka had a sense of what he was going to say before he said, because the words were not yet out that he looked shocked already.

“About me. And my birth. And why… why is that that people are… are like this. With me.”

A deafening silence followed his clumsy words.

Iruka didn’t seem to be getting angry at least. He was shell-shocked for now, mouth hanging but no words getting out, at a loss for what to say. Did he not have the right words to say it, or did he debate not answering at all? Naruto’s grip was painful now and his breath was getting shorter, erratic.

“I’m… I’m not sure… I’m not supposed to tell you,” Iruka said at last, though it didn’t look like that’s what he wanted to say.

“Why not?”

“It… It’s not a good idea. It would be hard to hear.”

That wasn’t the reason, Sasuke was sure.

“Is it forbidden?” he asked, because he remembered asking Iruka if he knew, months ago, remembered the man saying “I can’t tell you”, not in the “I’m not able to” kind of way, but clearly as in “I’m not allowed to”.

But why? It didn’t make sense. If Naruto asked, didn’t he have a right to know?

“I won’t spread it around if it’s a secret or something,” Naruto said in a rush. “I can take it I swear. Even if it’s… it’s something bad, that my parents did, or I did, or whatever… I want to know. I hate not knowing. I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”

Now that they had befriended some others and that their parents had started to welcome them in too, it was even harder to go back into the world and face that hostility that didn’t want to go away. It couldn’t have anything to do with Naruto’s behavior, it couldn’t be his fault, because then no one should have been able to take to him at all.

But they had. So it had to be something else. Something people could form an opinion on, a judgment. And Sasuke wanted to know too.

Sasuke needed to know, because it divided his world, the ones on their sides, and the ones against, and he had to know if it made sense, had to know why so many people stood opposite to them.

“Why can’t I know?” Naruto whispered pleadingly when Iruka persisted into his silence. There was a shift then. Their teacher looked at them both with a serious, considering expression, and it was comforting at least that he was really thinking this through, that he wasn’t dismissing their request on the spot. He stared at Naruto and a new resolve bloomed on his face as he came to a decision.

“You’re right. You’re right, Naruto. It’s unfair that you… that things would be that way. I understand why you ask, though I wish you wouldn’t. If you really want to know then…”

He took a breath, steeled his resolve.

“Then I’ll tell you. But I want to warn you, I don’t think it will… help, the way you think it could.”

“I don’t care. I want to know. The one with the information is always better off than the one without it.”

It was a lesson from school. Iruka smiled, just a little, though it didn’t move much of his saddened expression.

“Alright. Alright.”

.

Rationally, Iruka had always known blaming Naruto was absurd.

It was like scorning a prison guard for the prisoners he watched. The Kyuubi had to be chained somewhere and that somewhere was Naruto’s body. The boy had had no say in the matter, and he had shouldered that burden for all of them, without even knowing it.

So Iruka knew, but somehow, now faced with the perspective of having to explain it all to the boy, the sheer absurdity of the whole thing took a whole new dimension.

Iruka had partaken in this hatred. He too had seen the demon in the boy, he too had put his grief and pain on Naruto’s frail shoulders. And he believed he would have been able to justify it at the time. To explain.

He couldn’t know. He didn’t remember how he had even been able to think this way. How anyone could. Trying to come up with a way to break the story to the two kids really shone a light on how terribly wrong it was, how misguided and cruel. And he was afraid, he was afraid how they would react, of the feelings it would birth in their hearts, because no matter how you looked at it…

They were all in the wrong, and Naruto’s life had been hell because of it.

How was he supposed to admit that to the kid?

“Imagine there is… a wild beast. Terrorizing a village. Killing and destroying everything in its path, and it’s impossible to kill. The only way to stop it is for someone to chain it to themselves, and keep it by their sides at all times."

He could see they wanted to protest and ask questions, confused by this line of conversation. But they refrained. He went on.

“It’s very brave of this person to do this. But even if everyone else knows this, they still… The beast goes everywhere with that person, and the people around only see it. So even though it’s chained now, they’re still afraid of it, and they still hate it for all the pain it caused, and they don’t want anything to do with it. Or with the person that keeps guard.”

Was it bad of him to try to at least explain where the villagers were coming from, to justify their actions? Wasn’t he just trying to redeem himself, for acting and thinking just like them? But he had to try. He had to try giving sense to this, otherwise Naruto’s suffering was truly for naught, and how could the boy bear it?

“But aren’t they a hero?” Sasuke asked. Exactly the question Iruka didn’t want to hear.

“They are. But grief blinds people to it. Plus, they’re always afraid the beast is going to get lose eventually, so they can’t trust that person.”

“Why don’t they help them with it then? Or try to find another way? Why don’t they share the burden?”

Naruto was very silent at his friend’s side, Sasuke getting worked up for both of them. The hand that wasn’t crushing Sasuke’s was resting on his stomach.

Did he have an inkling already? Did he know where the story was going?

“What does it have to do with Naruto?” Sasuke asked next, sensing the other boy’s trouble. Iruka took a deep, steadying breath.

"There are creatures in this world, monsters of immense power, that can't be killed, by any means. The only way to stop them is to seal them, and to be sure they are kept under control, they have to be sealed inside a person.”

Iruka saw the exact second comprehension dawned on Naruto, his eyes widening as he clutched at his shirt. Sasuke felt the shift too, cast his friend a puzzled look.

“What is it?”

“It’s not my birthday. It never is.”

He looked up at Iruka, and it was hard to hold his gaze, not to look away. To receive his anguish and distress, to see all that pain.

“They… They never taught us how it was defeated. They never said it was killed.”

The history lessons said that the Yondaime vanquished the Kyuubi and saved the village. Most kids had to assume he killed the beast, and why would they think otherwise? Questions on the matter were always deftly dodged, the subject changed quickly, when teachers and other adults didn’t just outright lie about it all.

Sasuke caught on too then, though what followed immediately, for him, was an air of righteous fury, as he took the measure of their words. He was boiling with rage, but he didn’t get to slip into it, because then Naruto let go of his hand.

“I’m the monster.”

Iruka was up in an instant, and the next he was kneeling in front of the boy, moved by the desperate urge to erase that awful expression on his face, to shake this idea from his head.

“No you’re not. You’re not, Naruto, look at me.”

His eyes were glazed over and even if his eyes settled on Iruka’s, it didn’t feel like he could see him. Iruka took his face in his hands.

“Think about that person in the story. Did you think they were the monster? They’re not, and you’re not either. You didn’t do anything wrong. These are not your crimes.”

“But that’s why, that’s what… everyone, all those people…”

“Then everyone is wrong. Everyone is wrong, Naruto, the whole lot of them, down to the last person, they’re all wrong. You’re not a monster. You’re a dedicated student and a troublemaker, you’re a good friend. That’s what you are.”

Naruto’s eyes were spilling tears he didn’t seem to notice. He wasn’t sobbing, wasn’t making much of a sound or moving, and it was disturbing, this stillness, with only the tears falling, falling, falling.

Iruka took a glance at Sasuke – he was making a good job at keeping them in, but he too was in distress, lost and dazed. Iruka put a hand on his face too, so that he held both their attention.

“I know this is a lot to hear. And you’re right to be sad, and angry, because it’s not fair, and it’s wrong, and that’s the truth. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, about everything.”

“But I killed your parents.”

Of course they had to have brought up that particular topic right before this.

“No you didn’t,” Iruka said firmly, giving a mental kick to his younger self who was a complete fool. “You didn’t. It had nothing to do with you. You weren’t even a day old, _you didn’t do anything wrong_. Do you hear me?”

Naruto had to remember though. That Iruka had been like that too once, that he had looked down upon him with disdain and disgust, just like the rest. Gods, the damage people did around them without even noticing.

“I used to think this,” he confessed, because he couldn’t let that fester, he had to say it, even if they resented him, even if it put a dent in the trust and affection they had for him. “I was in pain and I didn’t know where to put it, so I blamed you like the rest, and I was wrong. I was _wrong_ , and I know that now. I know that now, and the rest of the world will come to know it too. And I’m sorry, and it’s on me, not you. You didn’t do anything wrong, Naruto. You’re not to blame, for anything.”

What amount of groveling and apologies could ever right that wrong? It was too enormous to even think about it, the debt they owed to Naruto. They had one even before everything, for the sacrifice of his body and life to save them all, and instead of repaying it they had only added to it, more and more, like complete fools.

He didn’t regret telling them. It was an impossible situation, one created long ago, that they could do nothing but bear the consequences of now. Naruto would have learned about it, sooner or later, and it the end it was better like this, safe in Iruka’s flat, where he could try to ease the pain as much as he could.

But he was wary of the emotions he saw raging in the kids’ eyes, of the abyss of despair and self-hatred Naruto’s mind was sinking in, of the wrath and hatred rising in Sasuke’s. How could he blame them though? It was always going to end this way, wasn’t it?

Out of the blue, Naruto sank into the sofa and turned their back to them, burying into the cushions.

“I want to sleep,” they heard, muffled by the fabric. Iruka put a hand on Sasuke’s shoulder to keep him from protesting. This was too much to handle for Naruto right now. He needed to sort his own thoughts, and there was nothing more to say for now that would bring him any comfort.

Sasuke was restless though, so Iruka put him to work, tasking him with the sorting of new learning material they had just received from the capital, while Iruka went back to grading papers. Naruto did fall asleep eventually, breathing evening out and some tension finally sliding out of his body.

“I don’t understand,” Sasuke said after a while, hands worrying at a scroll. Iruka waited for him to go on.

“I don’t understand why… why people are like this. I don’t understand that no one said anything.”

Truth be told, Iruka was certain some had disagreed with Naruto’s treatment. It was bound to have happened. And some had to be quite indifferent to the boy, not needing him as a placeholder for their grief.

But no one had said anything. None had stepped up. So it was as good as if they hadn’t existed at all.

“I don’t have an answer for you,” Iruka said with great regrets. He wished he could explain it away, wished he had all the answers like teachers were supposed to.

“All those people… they’re so… they’re…”

Sasuke didn’t have the vocabulary, or the disinhibition, to put into words what he really thought of the adults around him and their behavior. The paper crumpled and yielded under his grip. Iruka put a hand on his, brought him back to the present. Sasuke blinked at him.

“I know you’re angry. You’re right to be. But… Naruto is going to need you, and it’s not anger that will help him, for now.”

"He ought to be angry too!"

“Maybe. But that’s not what he’s feeling.”

Unlike Sasuke, who blamed the world around them, Naruto’s emotions were turned inwards. It was himself he was questioning, himself he was doubting.

Himself he was blaming, surely.

Sasuke had to know that. Had Naruto ever resented anyone in his life? Iruka had seen them arguing about it often enough. Sasuke always wanted to fight – Naruto always wanted to forgive and forget. It made sense, considering their background, how they had been raised.

Sasuke nodded, placated for now. No matter how he felt, he would put Naruto first.

“Were you really like that too?” he asked next, merciless. Iruka didn’t hedge.

“Yes.”

“Did you hurt him?”

“Yes.”

He had, in all the ways that mattered to a kid, the way they all did. Ignored him when he talked, glared at him when he was in his line of sight, sidelined him at every turn. An he had felt legitimate, doing this.

After all, it was what everyone did too.

It was hard to bear Sasuke’s judging look.

“But you changed. You changed your mind.”

“I did.”

“How?”

“I don’t know. I opened my eyes someday, I realized I was in the wrong. I don’t know.”

What was it that made them all blind to the fact that Naruto was just an innocent child? And what was it that could lift that veil? He didn’t have the answer. He was just glad it had happened.

“So people can change,” Sasuke said, mostly to himself. He looked strangely determined. “People can change,” he said again.

“They can.”

Iruka had to believe that.

“If enough people change, the world can change too.”

Iruka startled at Sasuke’s solemnity. Where did that come from? He thought he had heard it before, or maybe read it in a book. It was out of place in such a young kid’s mouth, but Sasuke was deadly serious.

“Yes,” he agreed. Sasuke didn’t look like he was listening, and there was no way to know if he nodded to Iruka or just to himself, to his own resolution. At least, Iruka thought, at least Naruto didn’t have to deal with that revelation alone. At least he had someone who would try his hardest to get him through this.

And Iruka would be there too. For the life of him, he would never let those kids fend for themselves.

Never again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Always wanted to have Naruto learn about this is a non-traumatic way, and since this is the softer timeline... It was a struggle to write this conversation and it's also why I cut the chapter there. Because I was fed up with it lol. I added one more chapter to this part in the end.  
> I'm not sure if it's proper canon that Iruka used to be not so nice to Naruto or if it only comes from that filler time, but either way I like it better like this than if he was just better than all from the start. 
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](http://inrainprose.tumblr.com), and also I drew a bunch of Naruto AU recently if you want to give 'em some love, [here](http://inraindrawz.tumblr.com). See you!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No monster here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [iooiu](https://iooiu.tumblr.com/) on tumblr has been putting the begining of this series [into comics](https://iooiu.tumblr.com/post/190114153182/based-entirely-off-of-inrainprose-s-cute-series) and whaaaaaat this is too cool. They uploaded [Part 2](https://inrainprose.tumblr.com/post/190892241109/part-2-comics-of-the-fic-series-brother-to-you) yesterday and it made me want to go back to work on this haha, so I finished the next chapter! And with it we're wrapping up this part and this arc.
> 
> I'm pretty busy overall and I'm focusing more on my other fic right now, so next part won't come soon I think. I know a lot of people are following and enjoying this story and I'm very grateful for your support and love, but please don't ask about updates or what. I do my best. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you'll enjoy!

Naruto woke up after some times, after the discussion had died down and Iruka and Sasuke had just been sitting there drinking tea and thinking. Waiting.

He didn’t say anything. Sasuke thanked Iruka for them both and made their goodbyes, the man promised they could come back anytime, if they needed to talk about this or anything else, that he was there for them. Sasuke thanked him again. Naruto said nothing.

He said nothing as they walked the streets back to their place. He said nothing but he glanced around, at the people going their way, buying things and chatting in the corners. Their looks were the same – his wasn’t. Sometimes he was defiant, sometimes he was just sad, as he bore their attention, but today he looked away and hung his head in shame. Some people seemed surprised and they looked away too, uncomfortable. Sasuke wanted to scream. Instead he took Naruto’s hand and hurried them home.

It was better to know, he kept telling himself. It was better to know even if it brought no relief and no understanding because it didn’t make sense and Sasuke was already angry all the time and he didn’t know what to do with this extra layer of resentment. He had grown used to feeling for Naruto, but this one he could have done without.

And still Naruto said nothing.

They made and ate dinner in silence. They went to bed in silence. It was barely an hour after the lights were out that Sasuke, sick of hearing muffled sobs coming from the other bedroom, grabbed his pillow and crossed the hall to invade Naruto’s bed. “I’m okay,” his friend tried to say, face covered in snot and miserable. Sasuke studiously ignored him and shoved him against the wall so that he could slide into the covers next to him. Naruto fisted his hands in Sasuke’s shirt and hid his face against his side. Sasuke was coiled tight in frustration and anger.

They didn’t sleep much.

Sasuke felt like they should have been given a break, life should just have paused, give them time to deal with this, to recover. But it didn’t work like that – the alarm clock rung just like any other day, though they almost missed it because only Sasuke had one in his room. Naruto’s alarm clock was Sasuke throwing his door open and urging up to get a move on.

They had to get up, get ready, go to school. Iruka would have covered for them probably, but Naruto didn’t mention anything about skipping and Sasuke didn't either. Maybe Naruto wanted to be out there, to see their friends, to keep things normal. He dealt differently from Sasuke with these sorts of things. And it’s not like he told Sasuke what he wanted to do, how he felt.

He told nothing, said nothing.

Not on the way to the Academy and not once they were there. He didn’t even say hello when they entered the classroom, a sure-fire way to inform everyone already present that something was wrong with him. Sasuke discouraged them from enquiring with a stern look – he had no idea what Naruto wanted to do, but he was reasonably certain talking about what had transpired the day before wasn’t on the list. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

More than staying quiet, it was soon apparent that he was actively avoiding everyone. He had this _look_ on his face, ashamed and afraid and Sasuke didn’t know what to _do_. Iruka kept glancing at them both with a worried frown on his tired face and Sasuke could only shrug helplessly because he was garbage at this and Naruto was silent as the grave and Sasuke wanted to punch a hole in the world.

The urge to do something and not knowing what was driving him crazy. Naruto had been there for him so many times, had comforted him and walked him through his breakdowns and setbacks, and Sasuke couldn’t even do the same for him. He was at a complete loss.

Naruto fled the Academy as soon as class was dismissed, and since Sasuke knew he wouldn’t manage to make anything better, he dragged his feet to follow. He too avoided all their friends, unwilling to put up with questions he had no answer to, and they all seemed to get the message.

Except for one.

“Is he alright?” Shikamaru asked as he fell into steps with Sasuke. He couldn’t even pretend it was coincidental, as the Nara estate was square in the opposite direction.

“Don’t ask stupid questions,” Sasuke muttered. “Sorry,” he added immediately. Shikamaru wasn’t at fault, he had no right to be rude.

“It’s fine, you’re right. I, huh… Is it…”

It was rare to see Shikamaru hesitate like that – he either had something to say or he stayed silent, and his thoughts were usually fully formed before he voiced them out. He rubbed his neck, hesitated some more, but eventually managed to ask, “Is it about the Kyuubi?”

Sasuke tripped onto his own foot and almost kissed the ground hello.

“What the… how… what?” he spluttered, killing all chances of deflecting this or convincing Shikamaru that it wasn’t, in fact, what this was about. He clicked his mouth shut and looked away, mortified, but the familiar tide of anger rose above the rest and he stared back at the other boy, thoughts burning.

“How do you know about that?”

“I sort of figured it out. With some things I heard my father said and… well with the dates and all. It figures.”

It really didn’t.

“How long have you known?”

“I don’t know, a few months.”

“And you never said anything?”

“What was I supposed to say? I wasn’t even sure, and I couldn’t just ask around!”

“Yeah but…”

If Sasuke had known in advance, if Shikamaru had told him, maybe he could have prepared somehow. It would have helped, not to be just as blindsided by this as Naruto was. Then again, how could he have known and not told his friend? Naruto would have hated Sasuke keeping something like this from him.

“What do you know?” he asked tiredly, not interested in carrying this conversation anymore but feeling compelled to do it still. Shikamaru shrugged, nonchalant.

“The Nine-Tailed fox was sealed inside of Naruto as a mean to get rid of it, probably by the Fourth. Probably how he died. And pretty much everybody knows but us, and that's why none of us were allowed to play with him as kids."

“I don’t know what to do,” Sasuke said instead of acknowledging any of this, how Shikamaru had pieced it out and how true it was, deciding it didn’t matter either way. “I don’t know what he’s thinking. But I guess it’s pretty bad.”

Sasuke had a hard time understanding Naruto’s feelings. Naruto never reacted how he thought he would – how he himself would have reacted. Naruto turned little of his emotions outside of him. It all stayed in, pointing inward. Their thoughts didn’t take the same path at all and their emotions didn’t take the same form.

“I don’t think he’d like knowing that you know,” Sasuke commented.

"That's because he thinks we'll hate him too."

Yeah, that made sense. Well no, it didn’t, but it did in Naruto’s logic probably.

“He must think we’ll turn our back on him. Might even think he’d deserved it. From you too,” Shikamaru added with emphasis. He obviously wanted something from Sasuke, but Sasuke didn’t know what to do.

“That’s stupid.”

“Tell him that. You have to convince him, have to…”

Shikamaru cleared his throat, embarrassed at the outburst. He wasn’t a very emotional guy, always deadpanned and a little cold, as if nothing could touch him. But Sasuke played that part often too – he could see right through it.

It was reassuring, that Shikamaru would care, and care enough to show it.

He didn’t ask why Shikamaru didn’t do it instead. It would be useless and mean – despite what he tried to project, Shikamaru wasn’t any better at this, and he wasn’t even supposed to know. Sasuke was the one living with Naruto, Sasuke was Naruto’s brother. It was up to him to make things better.

“I will. Thanks.”

Shikamaru would have to say something too though. His feelings, his help, they were meaningless if Naruto didn’t know – and Naruto had to be told very directly and very plainly for him to believe this kind of thing.

Sasuke hurried home, itching to do something and worried about leaving Naruto alone for too long. When he got into the apartment he found the other boy sitting at the kitchen table, lights off despite the dark, stormy sky casting gloom shadows in the room. It would rain soon. It felt appropriate.

“You’re here,” Naruto said in a hush, blinking at the light when Sasuke flicked them on.

He sounded surprised.

“Where else would I be?”

“I thought, maybe…”

He didn’t finish. He didn’t have to. Sasuke closed the distance between them in a few long strides, desperate suddenly to be heard, to get through Naruto’s thick skull. He grabbed the other boy’s shoulders, barely resisting the urge to shake him as if that could dislodge all the stupid ideas stuck in his head.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said forcefully. “It doesn’t change anything. I’m not going anywhere.”

Naruto looked lost, desperate to believe but unable too. Sasuke shook him up, just a little.

“It doesn’t change anything. Not for me, and not for the others either.”

It was a mistake – Naruto’s eyes widened enough that it felt like they could pop out and roll on the floor, filled with anguished, unmitigated terror.

“You didn’t tell them? You didn’t…”

“No, no! Well Shikamaru knows but…”

“What?”

“He guessed on his own. I didn’t say anything. But it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t. We’re not… It doesn’t change anything.”

Naruto’s distress was like a physical presence in the room, clogging up the air, making it hard to breathe for them both. He was panting as if he couldn’t get oxygen into his lungs, his hands clutching at his shirt, mistreating the fabric.

“But I’m…”

“No,” Sasuke cut, unable to hear it. Naruto said it anyway.

“I’m a monster.”

Sasuke screwed his eyes shut, inhaled deeply through his nose. It made no sense to be angry at Naruto, angry at the way of his thoughts, the working of his brain. He had to move past it.

“No you’re not.”

“But I…”

“NO. You listen, Naruto. Listen to me.”

He forced his hand to relinquish a bit of pressure. Naruto’s shirt had creased under his grip. He didn’t complain about the pain, but he wouldn’t anyway, would he?

Outside thunder rumbled low and menacing. The first few drops started to hammer at the window.

“Listen to me okay? I… You’re not a monster.”

Sasuke raised two fingers when it felt like Naruto was going to protest, and Naruto respected the signal. It gave Sasuke a small surge of confidence, that this worked still, even now. They weren’t lost, not really. They were still here, still themselves. Still holding on.

“You’re not a monster. A monster is… it’s someone bad. Someone that hurts and destroys everything they touch, someone who causes pain and doesn’t care, and you’re not like that. You’ve never been. I…”

Naruto was hanging out to his every word and Sasuke couldn’t falter now. He soldiered on, doing his best to look steady, to stop himself from trembling.

“I know a monster, alright? A real one.”

Naruto’s expression broke into sorrow and now Sasuke’s hand on his shoulder was support for both of them, as Sasuke struggled to get the next words out.

“I know a monster. And you’re nothing like him.”

It was Naruto in front of him, Naruto shaking under his palm, and Naruto was the best human being in Sasuke’s whole world.

“You’re always trying to help others and you’re nice even when they’re not and… and if it wasn’t for you I’d… I don’t know. I don’t know where I would be, what I would do but I… It would be bad. You’re… you saved me. And even if you needed it too and even if… You don’t get to say you’re a monster. You don’t. The monster… It’s not you. It could never be.”

The monster wore a familiar face but then he took a blade to every person Sasuke ever knew and loved, and that was the definition, that was the line. He had witnessed it firsthand, he could recognize it anywhere.

“But what if I was?”

Naruto was staring at his hands as if he could see blood on it, the spilled lives of those who had died under the Kyuubi’s attack years ago.

“What if it broke free? What if it could get out? I need to… I have…”

Of course his mind would go there, because he couldn’t think about just himself for half a second. Here he was now, ready to shoulder yet another burden as if it was his choice, as if it hadn’t been forced on him, as if he had no right to rage against it, against the unfairness of it all.

A good thing Sasuke could be angry for two.

“That still won’t be you,” Sasuke assured, trying to be firm, to leave room for no doubt. “It won’t be your fault.”

“We don’t know that. Maybe…”

“Then we’ll figure it out! We’ll… we’ll look, we’ll find something. But even if… if it could get out or if you weren’t strong enough or whatever, still… still it wouldn’t be your fault.”

An odd expression crossed Naruto’s face then, and Sasuke found he was the one being scrutinized.

“Are you saying that… We’re not… we’re not to blame? If we don’t… if we’re not strong enough?”

Sasuke choked on a breath, taken aback. Because how many times had he thought that? Had he been stronger, he would have been able to... He could have done something. Save someone. Stop the monster.

How was it that Naruto managed to make it about Sasuke even now, managed to confront him and his own struggles.

What choice did he had then but to concede? He had the hardest time not blaming himself for it all, for having been utterly powerless to do anything else but survive when no one had. But for Naruto’s sake…

He could try to believe it. That they weren’t to blame, that they weren't at fault. He could believe it if it meant Naruto would too.

“We’re not. We’re not.”

 _Could_ the Nine-Tail get out? Surely someone would have told them if it was the case. Surely someone could _do_ something. How was it their problem anyway, since they weren’t even supposed to know?

“I don’t want to hurt anyone,” Naruto sobbed. Sasuke couldn’t help a weird, inopportune snort, and it surprised Naruto so much that he stopped crying.

“Wh-what?”

“A lousy monster you’d make.”

His eyes widened, shining and huge, and Sasuke felt bad for a second, but then Naruto chuckled too, a small, wet sound, but far better than a sob already.

“Y-you suck,” he said without much conviction.

But he seemed to believe it. To realize. What monster really? A boy who could cry for a sick plant, for a sad stranger, for dead people he had never met? Yeah, right.

“You are… You’re Naruto. Okay? That’s who you are. You’re a good friend and you’re… you’re my brother. That’s who you are.”

Naruto nodded pitifully, trying to wipe his face to no avail. Sasuke shook him again.

“Okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

They would need to find out more about this. If only to put Naruto’s mind at rest, but also because despite himself Sasuke was _curious_. How did it even work? Where was the demon stored? Was it conscious, alive? Could it talk? It was hard to wrap his head around such a wild concept. He knew there were all sort of shinobi techniques and a wide range he knew nothing about but this…

They could figure it out. Naruto wouldn’t have to be scared, no one would.

For now he would let Naruto cry a little more, and then they would have dinner and do their homework and go to sleep, and tomorrow things would be fine.

They would figure it all out. They would make it through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a wrap for this part! Tbh I'm not too sure about what I'll do next, well the very next part is set already but after that I don't really know. I don't want to launch into full canon rewrite mode since I'm doing that already in Flip the Coin, but I do want to get further into the canon changes. Who knows ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ not me. 
> 
> Hope you liked it, tell me what you think, see you!


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